What a Pilates Teacher Should Look Like

4/20/2017

Lying on the grass with my tummy hanging out, playing with my son :)

I've been thinking about writing this blog post for a long time- years, even. It's about an issue that comes up for me fairly frequently, and it's not external- it's coming from the deepest, darkest part of my soul. It's the feeling that I don't fit the mold. That I don't look how a Pilates teacher is supposed to look. And the nagging, incessant worry that it will affect my business. I rationally understand that this isn't the case at all- the evidence is before my very eyes when I go teach a class, every day. People aren't looking and judging me all the time, they are attending my classes and enjoying them. But emotionally, I hold on to fear and worry about it, far more than I care to admit. But I am beginning to realize that it's time to come out of the closet about my fear and share it with you all.

I had the pleasure of reconnecting with a former client of mine last week at a networking lunch. She has decided to make a life change and become a yoga teacher. I'm really pleased for her and think she's going to be a fantastic teacher, and I want to help her in any way I can. So we chatted about life as an entrepreneur and about our shared connections in Niagara. And then she told me a story that made me shudder inside. A story about how someone reacted when my friend announced her change of career. This person was rude and dismissive about how she didn't look like a yoga teacher. Now, I'm fortunate because I've mostly been having this conversation in my own head and not had anyone say anything about it to my face. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to face this from someone else, and publicly too.

To be completely open here, the reason I don't think I look the part is because I am carrying some extra weight around. I'm not going to make excuses here or rationalize why that's the case. The fact is, the choices I have made in my life have led me to this place in time, and, honestly, most of the time I am pretty happy in my own skin. I have made exercising a regular part of my life and I love how it makes me feel. I feel strong. I feel like I can do so many things with my body, and that's awesome. I have a lot going on in my life and yet I've made exercise a priority. That's something to be proud of. Managing my diet too seems a step too far for me, at least in the present. I am not ruling out a change there at some point, just that I only have so much energy and time to commit, and I'm at my limit now.

But all that aside, I can't help but wonder why I can't get past this idea of "looking the part." Is it simply conditioning by the media? Is it the scared little girl inside that remembers being teased for being chubby? Is it just a general fear that I will be the one responsible for my own perceived failure? Whatever the reason is, I hope by writing this blog I can begin the process of setting it aside and moving on. Life is too short to hold on to fear, especially when that fear is entirely unfounded.

I am a Pilates Teacher.
I am overweight.
I am a good teacher.
I love helping people get stronger.
I can do amazing things with my body.

All of these things are true. That's me, out there for all to see.

Do you ever feel like you don't "fit the mold"? Please feel free to share in the comments or shoot me an email with your story. Let's not let fear hold us back from being our best selves.

26 Comments

Amy Thomson link

4/20/2017 02:38:27 pm

Diane, a lot of people are in the same position. The bold move you just made to bring this out into the public is a great career move for you, and a great opportunity for your future clients.
So many people will feel more comfortable and relaxed knowing that you share some of the fears and concerns they do. Whether it's weight or something else, most of us feel at some point that we don't 'fit the mold.'
For example, I often wonder how I come across. Most of my peers dress up very professionally to 'look the part' and I prefer my comfortable clothes. In fact, I intend to dress comfortably even as my success grows. I believe that being otherwise would be completely inauthentic for me.
When it all comes down to it, our clients will hire us if they believe we can help them solve their problems and reach their goals. If they relate to us and we are passionately committed to them achieving results, then we will be hired regardless of our weight or physical attire.
Thanks for sharing. You are a champion. 👍😊

Diane

4/21/2017 11:50:58 am

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and open response Amy! I think you hit the nail on the head when you used the word "authentic". I am realizing more and more that it's actually a positive way to be, not just personally but professionally too. I have had a few people talk about how they dress in response to this blog- and I absolutely agree- dress how you want to dress and feel good in yourself. When it comes down to it, being confident is the key- people will be drawn to you because of your confidence in yourself, not the clothes you wear or the extra weight. I'm working to gain that confidence in myself, every day. This post helped me take ownership of my fears and I can tell it's helping me already!! Thanks again for reading and best wishes to you in your business!

Joanne

4/21/2017 05:56:39 pm

I can tell you that I have never had the thought cross my mind that you may not look like a Pilates teacher. When I look at you I see a beautiful gentle soul that cares about people and just wants to show us how to move and stretch to make us healthier. You are you and you are me and you are so many other women that struggle with self image because we don't feel like we fit the perfect body. I'm sure there are women that would be judgemental because there is always those that are out to point out flaws, whatever that may be so just be yourself. I think you're awesome!

Sandra Edgar link

4/22/2017 08:19:01 pm

When I took my pilates training, I learned that to be an effective teacher you don't have to be able to do the movements - but know how to teach the movements. You are compassionate and effective in your pilates style because you help others get stronger and overcome their imbalances. And, in my opinion it doesn't matter what size or shape you are. You always inspire me with your wisdom and creativity.

Diane

4/26/2017 12:29:24 pm

Thanks so much for your comment Sandra- it means a lot. I'm very happy to have met you! ❤️

Miriam Gersho

4/23/2017 07:58:28 am

Reading what you've written here, Diane, is very exciting to me! Why? Because I was 70 years old before I fully accepted my body and learned to love it. It's so encouraging to hear a young woman coming to that place. I've always believed that to be beautiful, you have to feel beautiful. And for some of us that takes a long time. Perhaps that's why I find old women the most beautiful.

Diane

4/26/2017 12:31:07 pm

Thank you for your comments Miriam. I agree, some of the most beautiful women I know are older, and confident in their own skin. I'm glad you found your way to accepting yourself. ❤️

Samantha Forcey

10/21/2017 05:40:42 pm

I love this post- you are a mirror of me!!! I too am a Pilates Instructor carrying extra weight which I am hugely aware of and ashamed of. I think about how people judge me when I tell them what I do! If I changed my diet, I know my body would change and become smaller but like you, I don't have the energy right now! A huge thank you for sharing this, I am going to save it so that when I have a tough day I can read it. You are a great inspiration- thank you and happy teaching!!! 😘

Diane Archer

10/22/2017 09:32:08 am

Thank you Samantha! You are enough just as you are. If anyone says otherwise they are the ones with an issue. Stay strong and true to yourself! <3

susanne

10/21/2017 05:47:17 pm

same old game with age!? I started my pilates training at the age of 63. I felt accepted only during the second training program - and was accordingly successful and motivated to continue. I've now been teaching over six years...

Diane Archer

10/22/2017 09:35:33 am

Good for you Susanne! What an amazing career to start at 63. I'm hoping I will be teaching pilates for the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing your story on here <3

Ginger Purkey

10/24/2017 10:32:34 am

I need to meet you! I started my Pilates journey at 55. Got my certification at 65, after I retired, and now 6 years later I'm going to take a bridge cert to take me higher!!! I am proud of this OLD body! Habe always carried a few extra pounds, but hide it well! Love love helping people get stronger and feel good about their bodies! Every BODY is different! And it's for everybody!
Where are you located??

Keryn

10/21/2017 06:35:43 pm

What a great post and good on you for your bravery in posting it!! I too am an overweight pilates instructor. In my
20yr career I have been a size 8 dancer to size 16-20 that I am now. At no time though did I ever feel my body fitted the mould of what an instructor ‘should’ look like. I’ve been through several heart surgeries, pregnancy and ongoing health issues but genetically I think I just have a certain body type anyway. I would love to be smaller and always working on my fitness, but these days, for me, it’s about feeling well and not killing myself to achieve it. When I was a size 8 the diet I followed and the daily exercise I did was beyond healthy so for me it’s about balance ... be that my health conditions, exercise, diet, work and life. Still working on it - not perfect - but not giving up! Here’s another perspective too! Another friend who is a pilates instructor is an ex-Ballet dancer and has a beautiful physique. She is constantly asked by clients when they will look like her! She’s genetically this body type so she finds that hard too! We all just need to focus on doing the best with what we’ve got! Thank you for sharing your story ... you certainly helped me today feel a bit more at piece.

Keryn

10/21/2017 06:43:32 pm

'peace' not piece. ;)

Diane Archer

10/22/2017 09:38:35 am

Keryn thank you so much for sharing your story on here too! It's wonderful to hear from so many teachers that can relate to these thoughts- it means that we aren't as in the minority as we always believed. I totally take your point about your friend with the ballet physique- we are always on stage no matter what we look like, and it's a hard place to be whatever you look like. Stay balanced and enjoy life! <3

Maike link

10/22/2017 05:33:26 am

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I guess inside of yourself you will always know that you are ok as long as you are healthy! Watch that movie "embrace" ! I highly recommend that to everybody or every body. Embrace yourself, because you are enough! :)

Diane Archer

10/22/2017 09:39:33 am

Thanks for the recommendation- I haven't seen Embrace. I will check it out! <3

Kikki

10/22/2017 08:34:12 am

Thanks for a great post and for sharing your thoughts. This is me too, and reading this made me feel good. Let's go on and be good teachers. To inspire others to get aware and accept their bodies for whoever they are. Happy teaching 💜

Diane Archer

10/22/2017 08:52:31 pm

Right on Kikki! Let's go out there and change the world around us! <3

Nancy Andre

10/22/2017 08:46:05 am

Fantastic!! The media is the root of many problems.

Diane Archer

10/22/2017 09:41:51 am

Totally agree Nancy. I'm seeing a few glimmers of change- the #nobodyshame movement, and some plus size models finally coming along. But we have a long way to go. All I can do is not share or contribute anything damaging and hope others follow suit. Thanks and take care <3

Marion

10/22/2017 02:24:08 pm

Thank you for coming out of the closet! It must feel so good. I can tell it comes straight from your heart.
I'm too Pilates teacher, overweight and host a little girl who was pointed as chubby at school. I'm also French, 35 and I attract a different clientele because of who I am, I believe. Men and women that don't want to have an teacher with a body they don't relay to, that even worse intimidate them.
In my classes, we call Round Back, Croissant shape and Flat Back, Baguette shape. We play with the fact we looooooove food and wine and that is one of the reasons we exercise. Clients stick with me at the first class or give me the head to toe look (are YOU the Pilates teacher?) and go somewhere else. It doesn't bother me as I don't want to pretend I am someone else, and want to stay authentic. I love my clients for it too. We are in this non judgemental compassionate relationship and we have a LOT of fun.
I hope more and more 'all shapes' teachers will emerge, inspired by strong and compassionate people like us, and bring more people to exercise by doing so. We need to shift this Fitness Teacher body image!

Diane Archer

10/22/2017 08:56:15 pm

I absolutely love your food words for body positions! How wonderful! I will have to come up with a few myself. Totally agree that the clients will respond best to a teacher who is real, honest, compassionate and non judgemental. Let's shift our own little worlds and maybe others will follow. Thanks for sharing your story and happy teaching to you! <3

Chantele

10/23/2017 08:03:38 am

It is definitely industry expectation that a Pilates instructor should walk the talk so to speak! It places a huge amount of pressure on all women in this industry. Instructors have spoken to me at interviews (who were new Mums) about how they know they need to lose weight and understood if I thought they were not thin enough to start teaching. I’m mortified this is what the industry has put on other women. Being healthy is just that as Joseph Pilates states “health is its natural form” I’ve never felt accepted by the “industry” due to my body and I’m a size 10 so it’s very much self- perception of what appears to be an ever increasingly skinny size 0 era of instructors.
I opened my own studio with the intention of making everyone feel welcome, all ages, all sizes and all walks of life - I now own 2 studios with over 3000 active clients! Why because there are more that don’t fit the mould then there are that do!
And I will never own a studio that markets perfection, skinny size 0 is healthy or movements that a cirque du solei employee can do as the norm of Pilates! I believe accepting who you are, being healthy it it’s natural form through movement and healthy living can only ever make you happy.

Diane Archer

10/25/2017 12:28:36 pm

Right on Chantele! Thanks for sharing such an inspiring story. So fantastic to hear of your success <3

Katrina

10/30/2017 10:16:40 pm

The best Pilates and strength training coach I ever had certainly didn’t look the part. She was a 70 year old woman, badass in every way. She had me in the best shape of my life. I miss her dearly. Looks are not everything.

What a Pilates Teacher Should Look Like

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