![]() I've been thinking about writing this blog post for a long time- years, even. It's about an issue that comes up for me fairly frequently, and it's not external- it's coming from the deepest, darkest part of my soul. It's the feeling that I don't fit the mold. That I don't look how a Pilates teacher is supposed to look. And the nagging, incessant worry that it will affect my business. I rationally understand that this isn't the case at all- the evidence is before my very eyes when I go teach a class, every day. People aren't looking and judging me all the time, they are attending my classes and enjoying them. But emotionally, I hold on to fear and worry about it, far more than I care to admit. But I am beginning to realize that it's time to come out of the closet about my fear and share it with you all. I had the pleasure of reconnecting with a former client of mine last week at a networking lunch. She has decided to make a life change and become a yoga teacher. I'm really pleased for her and think she's going to be a fantastic teacher, and I want to help her in any way I can. So we chatted about life as an entrepreneur and about our shared connections in Niagara. And then she told me a story that made me shudder inside. A story about how someone reacted when my friend announced her change of career. This person was rude and dismissive about how she didn't look like a yoga teacher. Now, I'm fortunate because I've mostly been having this conversation in my own head and not had anyone say anything about it to my face. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to face this from someone else, and publicly too. To be completely open here, the reason I don't think I look the part is because I am carrying some extra weight around. I'm not going to make excuses here or rationalize why that's the case. The fact is, the choices I have made in my life have led me to this place in time, and, honestly, most of the time I am pretty happy in my own skin. I have made exercising a regular part of my life and I love how it makes me feel. I feel strong. I feel like I can do so many things with my body, and that's awesome. I have a lot going on in my life and yet I've made exercise a priority. That's something to be proud of. Managing my diet too seems a step too far for me, at least in the present. I am not ruling out a change there at some point, just that I only have so much energy and time to commit, and I'm at my limit now. But all that aside, I can't help but wonder why I can't get past this idea of "looking the part." Is it simply conditioning by the media? Is it the scared little girl inside that remembers being teased for being chubby? Is it just a general fear that I will be the one responsible for my own perceived failure? Whatever the reason is, I hope by writing this blog I can begin the process of setting it aside and moving on. Life is too short to hold on to fear, especially when that fear is entirely unfounded. I am a Pilates Teacher. I am overweight. I am a good teacher. I love helping people get stronger. I can do amazing things with my body. All of these things are true. That's me, out there for all to see. Do you ever feel like you don't "fit the mold"? Please feel free to share in the comments or shoot me an email with your story. Let's not let fear hold us back from being our best selves.
26 Comments
4/20/2017 02:38:27 pm
Diane, a lot of people are in the same position. The bold move you just made to bring this out into the public is a great career move for you, and a great opportunity for your future clients.
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Diane
4/21/2017 11:50:58 am
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and open response Amy! I think you hit the nail on the head when you used the word "authentic". I am realizing more and more that it's actually a positive way to be, not just personally but professionally too. I have had a few people talk about how they dress in response to this blog- and I absolutely agree- dress how you want to dress and feel good in yourself. When it comes down to it, being confident is the key- people will be drawn to you because of your confidence in yourself, not the clothes you wear or the extra weight. I'm working to gain that confidence in myself, every day. This post helped me take ownership of my fears and I can tell it's helping me already!! Thanks again for reading and best wishes to you in your business!
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Joanne
4/21/2017 05:56:39 pm
I can tell you that I have never had the thought cross my mind that you may not look like a Pilates teacher. When I look at you I see a beautiful gentle soul that cares about people and just wants to show us how to move and stretch to make us healthier. You are you and you are me and you are so many other women that struggle with self image because we don't feel like we fit the perfect body. I'm sure there are women that would be judgemental because there is always those that are out to point out flaws, whatever that may be so just be yourself. I think you're awesome! 4/22/2017 08:19:01 pm
When I took my pilates training, I learned that to be an effective teacher you don't have to be able to do the movements - but know how to teach the movements. You are compassionate and effective in your pilates style because you help others get stronger and overcome their imbalances. And, in my opinion it doesn't matter what size or shape you are. You always inspire me with your wisdom and creativity.
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Diane
4/26/2017 12:29:24 pm
Thanks so much for your comment Sandra- it means a lot. I'm very happy to have met you! ❤️
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Miriam Gersho
4/23/2017 07:58:28 am
Reading what you've written here, Diane, is very exciting to me! Why? Because I was 70 years old before I fully accepted my body and learned to love it. It's so encouraging to hear a young woman coming to that place. I've always believed that to be beautiful, you have to feel beautiful. And for some of us that takes a long time. Perhaps that's why I find old women the most beautiful.
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Diane
4/26/2017 12:31:07 pm
Thank you for your comments Miriam. I agree, some of the most beautiful women I know are older, and confident in their own skin. I'm glad you found your way to accepting yourself. ❤️
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Samantha Forcey
10/21/2017 05:40:42 pm
I love this post- you are a mirror of me!!! I too am a Pilates Instructor carrying extra weight which I am hugely aware of and ashamed of. I think about how people judge me when I tell them what I do! If I changed my diet, I know my body would change and become smaller but like you, I don't have the energy right now! A huge thank you for sharing this, I am going to save it so that when I have a tough day I can read it. You are a great inspiration- thank you and happy teaching!!! 😘
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Diane Archer
10/22/2017 09:32:08 am
Thank you Samantha! You are enough just as you are. If anyone says otherwise they are the ones with an issue. Stay strong and true to yourself! <3
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susanne
10/21/2017 05:47:17 pm
same old game with age!? I started my pilates training at the age of 63. I felt accepted only during the second training program - and was accordingly successful and motivated to continue. I've now been teaching over six years...
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Diane Archer
10/22/2017 09:35:33 am
Good for you Susanne! What an amazing career to start at 63. I'm hoping I will be teaching pilates for the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing your story on here <3
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Ginger Purkey
10/24/2017 10:32:34 am
I need to meet you! I started my Pilates journey at 55. Got my certification at 65, after I retired, and now 6 years later I'm going to take a bridge cert to take me higher!!! I am proud of this OLD body! Habe always carried a few extra pounds, but hide it well! Love love helping people get stronger and feel good about their bodies! Every BODY is different! And it's for everybody!
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Keryn
10/21/2017 06:35:43 pm
What a great post and good on you for your bravery in posting it!! I too am an overweight pilates instructor. In my
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Keryn
10/21/2017 06:43:32 pm
'peace' not piece. ;)
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Diane Archer
10/22/2017 09:38:35 am
Keryn thank you so much for sharing your story on here too! It's wonderful to hear from so many teachers that can relate to these thoughts- it means that we aren't as in the minority as we always believed. I totally take your point about your friend with the ballet physique- we are always on stage no matter what we look like, and it's a hard place to be whatever you look like. Stay balanced and enjoy life! <3
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Diane Archer
10/22/2017 09:39:33 am
Thanks for the recommendation- I haven't seen Embrace. I will check it out! <3
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Kikki
10/22/2017 08:34:12 am
Thanks for a great post and for sharing your thoughts. This is me too, and reading this made me feel good. Let's go on and be good teachers. To inspire others to get aware and accept their bodies for whoever they are. Happy teaching 💜
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Diane Archer
10/22/2017 08:52:31 pm
Right on Kikki! Let's go out there and change the world around us! <3
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Nancy Andre
10/22/2017 08:46:05 am
Fantastic!! The media is the root of many problems.
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Diane Archer
10/22/2017 09:41:51 am
Totally agree Nancy. I'm seeing a few glimmers of change- the #nobodyshame movement, and some plus size models finally coming along. But we have a long way to go. All I can do is not share or contribute anything damaging and hope others follow suit. Thanks and take care <3
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Marion
10/22/2017 02:24:08 pm
Thank you for coming out of the closet! It must feel so good. I can tell it comes straight from your heart.
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Diane Archer
10/22/2017 08:56:15 pm
I absolutely love your food words for body positions! How wonderful! I will have to come up with a few myself. Totally agree that the clients will respond best to a teacher who is real, honest, compassionate and non judgemental. Let's shift our own little worlds and maybe others will follow. Thanks for sharing your story and happy teaching to you! <3
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Chantele
10/23/2017 08:03:38 am
It is definitely industry expectation that a Pilates instructor should walk the talk so to speak! It places a huge amount of pressure on all women in this industry. Instructors have spoken to me at interviews (who were new Mums) about how they know they need to lose weight and understood if I thought they were not thin enough to start teaching. I’m mortified this is what the industry has put on other women. Being healthy is just that as Joseph Pilates states “health is its natural form” I’ve never felt accepted by the “industry” due to my body and I’m a size 10 so it’s very much self- perception of what appears to be an ever increasingly skinny size 0 era of instructors.
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Diane Archer
10/25/2017 12:28:36 pm
Right on Chantele! Thanks for sharing such an inspiring story. So fantastic to hear of your success <3
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Katrina
10/30/2017 10:16:40 pm
The best Pilates and strength training coach I ever had certainly didn’t look the part. She was a 70 year old woman, badass in every way. She had me in the best shape of my life. I miss her dearly. Looks are not everything.
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AuthorDiane Archer, Pilates Instructor from the UK now living back in Canada. Blog of tips, thoughts, home challenges. Archives
December 2022
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